Being Single in My 30’s: An Honest Reflection

follow url V=being single in my thirties 1 Cornithians 7:7  Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.

I never thought that I would reach my thirties and still be single.

Like most of us, I thought I’d be married by twenty five and have a family soon after.

But life doesn’t always go according to plan. Or rather, life doesn’t go according to our plan.

So here are the key points which I have come to realise.


Being Single is Gods Plan right now

Being single is not my choice- it is Gods plan for me right now. This is perhaps the most difficult thing to accept for most single Christians. You ask, why is it your plan Lord? Why cant I just be married like all my friends?

Then you start bargaining.

Lord- I know I can achieve all the things you set out for me if I was married- I promise I wont get distracted!” (Yes, I have said that many times!)

Ultimately I have come to learn that questioning Gods plan is not my place. His plan for me is for Him to know and me to find out! I now pray each day for him to reveal it to me.

I know part of the reason why I am single is to serve other single women- that’s why God had me start this blog! As for the rest? He will reveal it to me when He is good and ready.

Being Single is NOT a curse

It makes me sad when so many of my single sisters in Christ see being single as some sort of curse upon their lives. They feel left out from their married friends, and sadly, the Church.

I am fortunate in that I have never experienced anything negative in Church about being single, or ever had any of my married friends try to ‘set me up’. But I know this does happen and it shouldn’t.

The church needs to not only accept, but understand the growing single population and cater to them so that we don’t feel left out in a sea of families.

Being Single has its advantages

The main thing I love about being single is the freedom.

I can come and go as I please. I can spend a whole day working on my blog. I don’t have to answer to anyone.

This is a freedom that you have to give up once married. Yes, you can still have time to do the things you love but ultimately you have someone else in your life that you at accountable to. Someone who wants to know where you’re going and what you’re up to!

I pray to God to prepare me for that as I think its something I will really struggle with having been single for so long. I know that if it is his plan for me to be married he will help me prepare for everything that being in a relationship means.

… and it’s disadvantages

I wont lie. When I see my married friends and their families I get a little jealous. Sure, I tell myself that its a lot of hard work (which it no doubt!) but still I cant help but want that for myself.

Also, when all of your friends are married having a social life becomes tough. They have commitments and you don’t always get to see them as often a you’d like. Or, like my friends, they move away. Its tough. But I pray for them everyday and I know that one day, God willing, I will be married and have a family.

So there you have it, an honest reflection of being single in my thirties.

Do you struggle with being single? Comment down below!


5 thoughts on “Being Single in My 30’s: An Honest Reflection

  1. At times it is definitely a struggle as I mainly think that there must be something wrong with me, but I am only 25. I have the same issue of a lot of people I know being married and feeling left out. You do wonder if people look at you and think about why God has brought someone into your life. It’s a tricky position to live in the older you get!

  2. I thought I would be single my whole life, then I met my husband and married at age 27. After that, I thought I would never have children, and now I am expecting my first child at age 31! God is perfect in His timing. Great thoughts on being single and using the time to serve God. In fact, in the chapter you mentioned, 1 Corinthians 7, Paul says it is actually better not to marry, not because marriage is bad, but it is a huge responsibility, and not one that most people take very seriously. Look at the divorce rate! It’s better not to vow than to vow and not pay (Ecclesiastes 5:5). Thanks for sharing!

  3. My older son is single and he is in his thirties whereas my younger son and daughter who are also in their thirties are both married. All three have different personalities and also different jobs and different lives. All three live in different countries. We are all different and you are right there are advantages and disadvantages to being single and thankfully god is the one who knows best about what is right for each one of us.

  4. I love the honesty of this post. Many posts on singleness are either a pity party or trying to make singleness sound like the greatest thing ever. Being single is hard and you don’t shy from that fact, but you also point out there are some advantages. You seem to have a very balanced view. I just want to encourage you in that. You seem to be in a really healthy place with your singleness. You probably don’t feel that way (especially in those little moments of longing or jealousy that I think all singles experience on occasion), but you’re probably better off than you think. Thanks for sharing your healthy view with others. It’s a message that needs to be heard, especially in Christian circles.

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