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watch Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.
I never thought that I would reach my thirties and still be single.
Like most of us, I thought I’d be married by twenty five and have a family soon after.
But life doesn’t always go according to plan. Or rather, life doesn’t go according to our plan.
So here are the key points which I have come to realise.
Being Single is Gods Plan right now
Being single is not my choice- it is Gods plan for me right now. This is perhaps the most difficult thing to accept for most single Christians. You ask, why is it your plan Lord? Why cant I just be married like all my friends?
Then you start bargaining.
“Lord- I know I can achieve all the things you set out for me if I was married- I promise I wont get distracted!” (Yes, I have said that many times!)
Ultimately I have come to learn that questioning Gods plan is not my place. His plan for me is for Him to know and me to find out! I now pray each day for him to reveal it to me.
I know part of the reason why I am single is to serve other single women- that’s why God had me start this blog! As for the rest? He will reveal it to me when He is good and ready.
Being Single is NOT a curse
It makes me sad when so many of my single sisters in Christ see being single as some sort of curse upon their lives. They feel left out from their married friends, and sadly, the Church.
I am fortunate in that I have never experienced anything negative in Church about being single, or ever had any of my married friends try to ‘set me up’. But I know this does happen and it shouldn’t.
The church needs to not only accept, but understand the growing single population and cater to them so that we don’t feel left out in a sea of families.
Being Single has its advantages
The main thing I love about being single is the freedom.
I can come and go as I please. I can spend a whole day working on my blog. I don’t have to answer to anyone.
This is a freedom that you have to give up once married. Yes, you can still have time to do the things you love but ultimately you have someone else in your life that you at accountable to. Someone who wants to know where you’re going and what you’re up to!
I pray to God to prepare me for that as I think its something I will really struggle with having been single for so long. I know that if it is his plan for me to be married he will help me prepare for everything that being in a relationship means.
… and it’s disadvantages
I wont lie. When I see my married friends and their families I get a little jealous. Sure, I tell myself that its a lot of hard work (which it no doubt!) but still I cant help but want that for myself.
Also, when all of your friends are married having a social life becomes tough. They have commitments and you don’t always get to see them as often a you’d like. Or, like my friends, they move away. Its tough. But I pray for them everyday and I know that one day, God willing, I will be married and have a family.
So there you have it, an honest reflection of being single in my thirties.
Do you struggle with being single? Comment down below!